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December 23rd, 2011

BITCHIN’ PARADISE: You are so Phat

by Kimberley Denney

So it’s really true: that cortisol hormone you hear about on late night TV, the one that packs on the belly fat even if you exercise and eat right? It’s a real thing. I’m pretty sure that pill they try to sell you to reduce it won’t work. But I’ll tell what does work: Not working.

Well, not exactly not working.Not working for mean people who chronically stress you out. Like, I am totally not trying to brag or anything, but after I quit my job my clothes suddenly started fitting better. Without trying. And I sleep through the night. Despite the ever-present voice lurking in my head, asking if I really need to buy that second bottle of wine when who knows what the workload will be next month. But it’s so much better than the stress that other people induce on you. And yes, I always err in favor of the second bottle. It tells the voices to shut the hell up.

But I digress. Let’s get back to the shallow stuff. My body. It wasn’t just quitting my job that resulted in me dropping a size. So here are my two other secrets for shedding those unwanted few pounds, not just for the holidays, but all year long.

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